My favorite song at the moment:
My favorite singer at the moment:
And, yeahhhh!
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Monthly Archives: July 2009
Who said there was no art inside Tibebe’s crib? 
That is how people – Betty or T, for example -would react when they come to visit me and find out that I am in bed with the fairer sex. Not that I am into the sterner sex. It’s just that shit is way overdue; I have been talking the talk and not fucking the fuck. One of these hours I am going to go out on a limb and ask a girl benatsh, yezaren bicha kiberigne! wendim yeleshim woy?
So they would be surprised to find me in that state of affairs, and their hats would come off a la those cartoons.
The hats could also come off owing to admiration for the way I be handling biz:
“get in there son! don’t stop git it git it!!”
“…….I…am…. try…ing…”
Imagine if MTV Cribs came to my house (why they call it “music television” I just can’t get). Come through the door; make a sharp, immediate left and… “this is where it all happens; where it all goes down”
That is where I sit, eat, read, sleep, do crunches (gotta stay in shape 
) …
Actually nothing could go down over there. How can one control all the noise? The morning after people would be looking at you different.
Have you seen “He was a Quiet Man”?
Well, I could be that guy; and when reporters ask my landlord and lady about my behavior when I used to be beatsede hiwot the wife would say “ he was a quiet man; never made a sound…well, actually there was this one time when there was screaming in his room …”; husband says “honey, I think it was two nights….” ; reporter intercedes with an air of mathematical genius “ so you are saying that when Tibebe was alive you heard him get loud on the average 1.5 times”; in unison “yes, you can say that”
Lord I don’t want to be that guy who only got to be loud one and a half times!
So I am buying eggs and this kid goes “do you speak Amharic?” Premise: A man who goes up and down gebeya sporting a backpack and an ecobag full of onions and what not must be a foreigner. I say “ferenj emeslalehu?” He persists with his English: “are you Habesha?”
I really do hope that he was teasing me and people take me for who I really am i.e. an Ethiopian male buying shinkurt. Otherwise, there is no knowing where these misconceptions about my identity could lead up to. There is a thin line between “ Yihes gobez new! Yerasun migb serto yibelal.” and “Yemanew alicha?! Wendoch yemiwlubet bota ayiwilim ? Esti eyut , gay sayhon aykerim! ”. Next thing rumor spreads and, I would not be going out after dark for fear of having my ass violated.
That would be a great tragedy because:
- I am trying to be unkempt to a certain degree and this is the thanks I get?
- One of the reasons I am trying my hand at cooking is that I had (read, heard people say, heard on TV/a movie, heard on the radio, had dreamt that)??? chicks dig a guy that can cook. And that’s why when I passed by that girl’s side on my way home yesterday, I held my bag up high like “got tomatoes babe! Would you like to come over?
”
I got ninety nine problems and counting. And all of them seem to be about girls.
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Listened to it ; survived it –with flying colors !!
Yippee! I am not suicidal
Truth be told the version I heard was of this female singer whose name I do not know. May be hers is not as potent as the original Hungarian one and that of Billie Holliday. I have got a good mind to listen to both.
I even tried it on a bit gloomy Sunday morning and on a friend: “…this song is reputed to kill those who listen to it. And… I choose you”.
And nothing.
Maybe I was not the right amount of depressed. And maybe I could not relate to the lyrics –thank God!
Anyway, it goes to show you that it takes more than a song to kill an Ethiopian.
Yay a yay
And before anyone else says it let me say this: poverty, disease or conflict but not a simple song.
One
Of the million things that are in demand, why do they sell only lomi and mefakia outside campus?
Before I start… TIYE please forgive me… you know how much I love you….
I sat down infront of the TV after a long day, talking with the my wandering Newyorker was fun and then I saw Lampard running on a football field… I was like ” really”.. so I turned on the volume and started watching the game between AC Milan and Chelsea…. I was so excited I would have loved to have been inside the TV… seriously… and I even scared ETIYE MULUSHEWA and GASHE GEBREIGZIABHER… I was talking to the players as if they could hear me…. ofcourse that would have made the day of Chimbu and Mitiye if they were there because I know they will tease me untill the end of time… haha… you missed your chance….and a good thing ETIYE MULUSHEWA won’t tell ….
It was about three months back when I found out that three of my favourite teams were coming to the US… if I wasnot planning on going to Chicago.. I would have definately gone to BOSTON, to be able to watch them play so up close would have been amazing. I love AC MIlan (Roseneri.. literally means red and black), then Juventus(bianconeri).. amharic translation .AROGITUA), then chelsea then Inter Milan (NerrAzzuri.. literally means black and blue)…..and the funniest part is AC Milan lost the game but I was excited…. even listening to the comentators was fun… the voice of commentators I was used to when watching the game… I mean they werenot Garry Bloom and Peter ( forgot his last name)… but everything was exciting….
It reminded me of my junior and senior years in 4 kilo.. watching games with Nayuye (he says “please scream ” when everybody is watching the game and he covers me up and I scream to confuse everybody, … watching the premier league at Tibe’s house ( Menge, Sol, Papiye, Dinicho,Abush., sometimes Woliye, .. ofcourse..TIYE would not have it. and I am sure he will say a word or two to me for even taggging him on this note…),…( I still miss the kitfo and the fun and everybody against me if chelsea are playing)… champion league games… all the congratulations calls I recieved when the AZZURI won the world cup……( wow I remember that day, my sister actually recorded me when I was jumping up and down and I guess it was then that my dad actually understood the extent of my love for the game )…. football is amazing … I like the fact that there is hope and fear untill the last whistle is heard…..
ANd lastnights game was a high for me… I remembered what Meridith said to mcdreamy after coming out of a surgery…” why do people do drugs, this would have been enough”… ofcourse this is not surgery but for a girl who hasnot seen live football in such a long time, it was amazing to see the players I know play… I would have loved to have seen Joe Cole ( remeber Joye papiye)playing though…. but seeing GINO, NESTA, LAMPARD, TERRY, DROGBA, SHEVA, CHEC, A.COLE, and oh RONALDINHO ( an amazing talent and heart at that)…. I could go on forever….
I really wished Baggio would come out and coach AC Milan though….
I hope I get to see them next year, if they come back to the US….
ciao
PS. here is a report of it from ESPN…
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/report?id=276255&cc=5901
seriously I feel lke a football chronicle.. and the dude that just comes up whenever the bajaj story comes about is actually siding with Tiye and is saying..( we get it , but one sentence that just tells us that you got high would have been enough) …. Fine fine… I gotta to stop now and do some reading…
I never thought that winter could depress me the way it is doing now. Man I used to love winter! But now…
Maybe it is the effect of being away from home: bekiremt “besew ager” it is like you are outside in the rain even if you are inside. A bit melodramatic I know. And I am not sure I would go home if told to do so. But hey, we are throwing conjectures around !
Or maybe it is the laziness and hence pressure to prepare notes for class on time: old habits die hard; teaching is glorified learning; and the night before class is still hectic.
Or maybe it is nothing.
What I would like to say to the newborns of this and next year, the ones conceived out of love and the rest conceived out of power rationing is: boo didi mmaamama daadadad den dan do
Ok I will address their parents instead: “As soon as they start recognizing words, please tell them: beyekenu yetemarutin endiatenu. They will probably refuse; you know what to do should that be the case. It could develop into a nasty habit of putting off things.”
When will this sira makor end?
Finished a chapter today. Felt like a buffoon. Will be right back at it after sometime.
I am going to class strapped- with water.
Have you ever eaten kinche with tea- no sugar- poured on it and pieces of banana inside? Gooooood!
Reminds me of home 
I mean, will remind of home. Got the kinche all I need now is the muz.
Shiro bedinich, Shiro on the rocks, should it be called?
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Seriously people will come up so many different pick up lines…
Here is what I found on..http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/cheesy.html
I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
Be unique and different, say yes.
You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
…… so and so….
Why did I even begin to write this? Well I just remembered what my cousin YAYE told me happend to her.
She was at a gathering and this guy comes up to her and says … ” you know what …you look like egna bet yalewin ye christmas get“… yeah he said that….I liked what she said to him though “ oh really does this actually work?…may be if the girl is drunk… hey one just passed you by yilikunis satamelthih teketelat“
I laughed when hearing this and it reminded me of what my TA in my theater class came up with when we were discussing shakespear…” I got one pick up line for you guys… shall I compare thee to a summers day”…. so the dude should have said to my cousin..” shall I compare thee to a cristmass ornament”…
Any way lame or not, some work better than others and that is how I guess relationships start … but I would like to know what girls would use… may be I have used one unconsciously but I am not willing to bring it forward for now.
ciao
It was inevitable that I would get to have a new fixation.
And this one has a good potential to be just that.
So I am in a bajaj right …
Well if it isn’t “Mr Bajaj Chronicles” himself 
Man I thought you was dead I mean I paid for it and everything…
Like the song says, go on and get your refund mofo cuz I ain’t dead 
About a month or so ago I had the chance to seat next to this girl. I was going home and as I was to find out later, so was she. And the place we both call home, as I was to find out later, was 14.
I start pleading with my dick like “it is not what you think”. We have been through this so many times before that I did not want him to get hurt.
I count from one hundred to one and tried to think about stressful subjects.
The third guy gets off and by the time we reach ye14 metatefia the driver volunteers to take her through some part of the korokonch.
Ok it is a common practice:on a few mornings I have had bajajas coming to get me some distance out from their normal stops.
But what I have not told you is that the girl was a customer of the driver; they had been chit chattering along the way; and he did not just volunteer – he was dying to take her to her bedroom steps.
We reach the turn to her house and he asks “Bezih bekul neh?” and I say “no”. Stupid ass guy trying to tell me where I live !
I know-real dumb of me. It would have been nice to see where she lived. I screwed up both of our chances. How he must have hated me for that?!
Ok he may have seen her house plenty of times before and after but me…
And what if you knew where she lived? Were you going to serenade her or something? Loser!
Before yesterday I think I only saw her once. I was coming back from school late afternoon …
And you were in a bajaj
Silence! I kill you!
She was wearing black jeans, a cute black coat and white shoes. I was seeing her from a bit far off but I knew it was her. And I tell you the girl in question is not only looks. She is a well-behaved, mirakuan yewatech koreda. I mean, she stops and talks with her neighbors and shit!
Just because you don’t talk to them doesn’t mean that they are mute.
I suppose she was going to work yesterday because this morning I was going to school and there she was; returning home wearing the same clothes that she had on yesterday. Yesterday I thought she was going to a date-looking fine as she did-and I was ready to give up hope.
Like you had any hope in the first place.
Seeing her this morning, I was feeling sorry for her: “Ene tegnete anchi sitseri adersh aydel? Enen!”
I know what you are thinking and I can assure you that her offices are not in kebele 06.
You seem to give a lot of assurances for a guy who has not uttered a single word to her.
Yesterday and today too?! This is more than coincidence. This is big!
Again, I was seeing her from afar but we were approaching each other (ok she is moving and I am approaching her) : “I must get nearer before she takes the turn to her home”
And just when I was about to get a clearer view of her features, I hear this voice from the back. It was my friend calling me.
No me quedo remedio mas que turning to him and be engaged in conversation while, you know, a decent chance to eyeball her went begging.
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It beats me why you bother reading his nonsense.
So it’s Sunday in I am in a bajaj…
This story is shaping up to be quite interesting. I mean: how often do I get to be in that situation?
Well, umm, every week?!
Are you writing this thing or what?
Okay okay …. So I was in a bajaj, on a Sunday …
You have already said that Do you realize that a big part of your life has been spent on repeating stuff? Conservative estimate-26 years?
This guy also gets on the bajaj with his friend. And suddenly he is all over me: he is practically sitting on my right pocket- the blood as well as the mobile side. He apologizes for the inconvenience.
What’s the matter homes? This is a standard bajaj-like there was any other kind- and you are not that buff. Either you are gay or a thief.
What if my mobile got stolen? I was thinking that that would cap a perfectly shitty weekend; a weekend in which things like the shaver going dead in the middle of business-and you guessed it, we were teregna- happened.
He starts talking about an accident that happened last night and about the causalities. I try to look interested.
Kelbe alwededewim ::
They say weraj midway.
By the way, I have realized that bajaj rhymes with weraj.
So much for your epiphany .Would you finish your “story” already?
Just when they get off and are paying the driver, I decide to check my pockets. And…
You know, Murphy’s Law should be right up there with the laws of Thermodynamics and Kinetics, governing happenings.
I too get off. You know, I remove myself from the bajaj, unsure just what to do next
I think I was about to say something, something to the effect of “ehh… yikrta . mobilen serkachihugnal? …. I was just wandering….”, when the encroaching guy says “mobilhin tilehal !” and points at the bajaj seat. The phone was calling.
Here is what I think happened. He steals it and tries to get away. Gin ene wendu …
Mobilun asrekbo ene wendu yibalilgnal degmo!
Gin ene kebajaju, with a courage and cluelessness fit for a wend, weredku. When he saw the fire in my eyes, he decided it was in his best interest to return the good; sneak it somehow onto the seats. And maybe the phone started calling and he was afraid that- though it was on vibration mode-it would start ringing and give him away.
Moral of the story is: let the dead bury their dead; mind your phone.
BOOOOO! I wish it had remained stolen.
Man what the fuck is your problem?
YOU! You are my problem!
Fair enough. Let me one this thing up and we will see who will be blogging here: you or me!
So what are we seeing next time I’m in Etopia? Langano Sodere Awassa minamin all cool but something different and far? Tibe just told us what tops his list. Can we list our list and pick some from those?
Semien teraroch
Ertale
Dalol
Harar and Dire Dawa
Aksum
Mekelle
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Irrationality… no actually impulsiveness… seriously…. traits I never knew i had but the eyes of the wandering Newyorker brought them out that beautiful saturday night. It was just like the world just stopped and God handed the wandering Newyorker to me; to do whatever I wanted with. oh my… I do hope and pray this lasts forever.
So many unanswered questions but this time I am leaving it all to the one who knows all, none other than the allmighty GOD who heared me ask; who gave me the wisest them of all; who showed me his handy work in a matter of seconds which dazzled me in so many different ways. Misgana yidresew, Amen
Yeah I’m rich biyatch !
Well not quite: wanaw yehizb fikir new. And on that front, I think, I am fighting a losing battle. Ok it has only been two classes. But still, I can’t feel too good about myself as a teacher seeing all those students yawning and even sleeping in class. May be I’m putting too much emphasis into impressing than teaching them. Things might improve along the way and I may end up achieving both. The last thing I want to be is just ordinary. And maybe I should drink red bull before class.
Let me paint a picture of my students for you: you show them an explicit commercial of Viagra (all in the aim of driving home a point) and they act like they are in church. Not a single haa haa or hee hee!
Imagine just how dereq!
I doubt they didn’t get it because a student came up to me after class and told me how he and his peeps liked the whole association thing I was trying to do between the subject matter and pop science.
But all the same, who gives a flying fuck?! You’ve read it-I GOT PAID!
How I wish I could change that P for an L?! You know I was not in it for the money.
7281 birr: that is my a bit abridged two months and a half’’s demoz and my very first official salary for being ‘yetemare sew’. In 94, I used to be paid 400 birr/month for being a student out of class. Not too shabby for spending very relaxed far in between days in the record office of Birhanih Zare and the garage of Addis Abeba Mengedoch Balesiltan. And there also was the time when I was a stand in teacher and got two hundred something birr.
My current after tax salary is supposed to be around 3400 including housing allowance. I make, put a la the salary of football players, 850 a week. It is not much given that I am left with less than three years of youth (according to Ethiopian law) and I should be making more in this my prime.
Why am I being paid just now? Don’t get me started on that one!
I am not complaining though. My salary is more than enough for a guy who has no one else to take care of but himself and even that task has not been completely handed over. On top of that, I would like to think of myself as a simple complicated guy whose needs are not too many. And that’s why I have decided to give a big chunk of my salary to charity. The charity of my choice-it is more like a movement- Save the Dicks; its members are members and its motto “Let us Have it !”
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Had my first class today. Did it go the way I planned it to?
Nope!
Did I spit nonsense , did I choke a bit ?
Yep!
Did I , Oh did I feel tired ,really tired after class ended?
Hell yeah!
Do I have to do it all over again tomorrow, and am I totally unprepared for it ?
yee..ee.eees 
Weyne gudie 
Ooonneee
I take what little consolation I can from being one of the probably few guys who start their first class with “A guy goes into a bar…”
